“Eh Harry?” in response to Sammicox Weekend writing prompt 111 translation

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Sammis’s Weekend Writing Prompt 111 translation

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.


sammicoxwk-111-translation


EH? HARRY?

“Hi, how are yah?”

“Je vais bien merci.”

“O.K.! We’re ready to order.”

“Nous avons un spécial sur Goat Stew.”

 “O.k. if it’s on special make it two.”

“Nous avons aussi des entrailles de moutons.

Aussi délicieux.”

“We’ll have that too.”

“Vous pourriez aussi aimer les pénis de cheval.

Fraîchement coupé aujourd’hui!”

“We could try something different.

 Whatever that is. Eh Harry?”

“Sure Tom, I’ll bite.”

“We’ll splurge, give us two plates of

whatever that is.”

“Would you guys like a salad with that?

I think you’ll need one.”

“Just regular sized ones.”

 “To wash it all down, I’ll bring you guys

a couple of water pitchers.

“Frais de la maison.”

“Nice guy. Eh Harry?”

©J.E.Goldie June 22 2019


Brought to you by the miracle of instant English to French translation.

It could have been any language. Illustrating how we can all get lost in

translation.


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My Answers to The Haunted Wordsmith’s Fibbing Friday – June 7 2019

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The Haunted Wordsmith’s Fibbing Friday questions June 7 2019

What would Friday be without a chance to do some good-spirited fibbing?

Enjoy today’s questions:

 

*Why do cable companies offer so many channels no one watches?

Somebody has to have a job.

*Who invented lemon meringue pies?

Mr. Meringue. You know, the guy who also invented

the lemon.

*Why did people invent the sandwich?

A guy at the beach was hungry. Silly question.

*What was the stone age?

That’s when gall stones became popular excuses.

*Why do people grow more annoying as we age?

I dunno maybe because other people think they

know more than you. But..maybe not..

*What is doomsday?

The day I forget to buy dinner.

*What do fish do all day?

They catch other fish. Dummy!

*Who are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse really?

That’s easy. It’s the four guys at my garage. They hate

my car.

*How do you make a cake?

Wouldn’t you like to know. Pillsbury wants to know too.

*What is the best ice cream topping on a sundae?

Everything you refuse to eat normally, then some.

*What is your ideal style of home?

One I can live in without having to repair it constantly.

*What is the strangest hobby?

HAHA! I’m not going there LOL


These are my answers, funny or not. Why not give it a shot!


 

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“Yah. We’re Done” for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #88 – superstitions -May 23, 2019

 

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The sign of infinity in the space

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #88 May 23 2019

Eleventraits

Many years ago a group of us were invited to a Birthday Party and were surprised to find that our host had invited a Reader, who charted our life numbers. She had been given pertinent birthdays and other info that we were not aware of. As it turns out mine is 11. Of course since that time I continuously see the digital clock as it turns to 11:11. My facination with that and the fact that my birthday happens to be 9/22 has nothing to do with this story. I have however an intuitive awareness, a sixth sense and am frequently surprised by it. AND NO! I don’t know what you’re wearing or want for dinner 😊 ©J.E.Goldie

YAH. WE’RE DONE.

 

“Yah, I’m 9 and 22, my birthday, I mean, and

hers is 2 and 22, but 9+2 =11. I’m in heaven,

because 11 + 11 equals 22. So there ya go!

Seems I always know her moves, even her

rustling in the night. Somehow her vibes come

to me anytime night or day. I can forecast her

presence.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh Doc! You know.”

“Why don’t you explain.?”

“I dunno, it’s strange. Like I know she’s

there.”

“There?”

“Yah. Or! Maybe she knows. I can’t explain.”

“Just give it a try.”

“I just remembered something important.”

“Oh?”

“Yah, my Dad was 11 and 22.”

“Why is that important?”

“Because I’m pretty sure he loved me.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Oh yes. But he never told me. Not really.”

“How’s that?”

“He took me places he liked. He took me

fishing.”

“That’s nice.”

“Oh yes and he drove me to tournaments

and stuff like that. But he never really,  said

much.”

“What about your mother?”

“Oh, she was 3 and 8.”

“Isn’t that 11?”

“I guess. But in her case it negates.”

“Negates?”

“Well yah. 3 and 8 don’t fit, like 11, 2 and 22.”

“What about your Sister?”

“Naw. She’s 3 and 16. I think.  Mom and her, made

a better link.”

“Better link?”

“The numbers say it all Doc. Is the session over?”

“If you want it to be.”

“Yah. There’s enough here to think about.”

“Well if that’s it. We’re done for today.”

“Yah. We’re done.”

©J.E.Goldie May 25, 2019

I added this, just for fun

Zodiacdesires

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Course

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The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know about myself….and others. I continue to learn.

I’ve reached an age where knowledge exceeds impetuosity, where wisdom allows freedom. An age where unreasonable demands without question become irreconcilable.

I give you this wisdom. As you go through the current demands of your life, be sure this is your course.

If the course is not yours and is demanded of you, be sure you want to accept the regret. You will change the lives and times of others.

Are you ready? Unreasonable demands without question are irreconcilable. The atmosphere will be extremely stressful for you, if the course is not yours.

©J.E.Goldie 2017

 

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“Just Deal The Cards” in response to BrewNSpew Cafe word prompt – Royalty May 13, 2019

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A ROYAL FLUSH

BrewNSpew Cafe word of the week prompt May 13, 2019

Word of the week – ROYALTY (in 300 words or less)

 

“That’s Poker!”

“Damn it! Ronnie!”

“You’ll have to step up your game Sam.”

“My game?”

“Yah, in case you hadn’t noticed this is a card game.”

“Then I guess I’m the Joker. You’ve beat me 5 games

in a row.”

“Sam, I didn’t invent the game. You’d think I was profiting

by beating you. I don’t have the patent.”

“You’re Royalty Ronnie. You’re the King.

There’s no doubt about it.”

“Alright then, let’s play another hand.”

“You love this game dontcha?”

“I do.”

“O.K. let’s play.”

“Sam?”

“Yup?”

“This time keep your Royals.”

“Why?”

“Cause, I may just abdicate.”

“Abdicate?”

“Yah. That means I may give up my status for

friendship’s sake.”

“Very funny Ron.”

“No. It’s not, and your game play is just fine Sam.”

“Okie Dokie! You’re on! Let’s play!”

“Just deal the cards.”

©J.E.Goldie May 13, 2019

 

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“A Very Long Trip” in response to CrimsonProse Photo Prompt #CCC26 May 8, 2019

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CrimsonProse Photo Prompt #CCC26 May 8, 2010

(under 130 words)

A Very Long Trip

 

“Dan?”

“Yes dear.”

“Over there. Isn’t that a…”

“Bunker.  Yes.”

“This is a pretty rocky…”

“Bank. Yes.”

“So…”

“We’ll just have to watch our step.”

“Dan. Are we on this journey together?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I asked you if we were on this trip

together.”

“Isn’t it obvious.”

“I’m not sure.”

“What’s the problem with you, Hon.”

“It’s not me who has the problem, Dan.”

“What are you insinuating, Darling.”

“This is going to be a very long trip.”

©J.E.Goldie May 8, 2019

theEnd

 

 

 

“But Not Before Breakfast” Part 2 of 2 “So Be It” an extention of CCC#24 Crimsonprose

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“Nancy. I’m ever so quickly beginning to realize you

have a definite penchant for getting us into messes.”

“EH?”

“When I picked you out of hundreds of applicants…”

“Hundreds?”

“Yes. Hundreds. Your description, as I recall, said

you were the quiet, unassuming type and love to travel.”

“I do love to travel.”

“Yes. You do. Love to travel.”

“Now see here Joan, have I really caused you so much,

Agony!”

“No. Not agony. Actually.”

“Then what’s this all about Joan. Do tell. We have a

perfectly good lunch ahead of us. Let’s not spoil it.”

“Not that I could even attempt to spoil your lunch Nan.”

“Are you insinuating I’m fat!”

“Oh no. No, No No. Perhaps a tad plump but who cares.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing my dear, nothing, except getting stuck in a Church

Pew in the middle of services and yelping like a dog in heat

proves to be a little embarrassing.”

“They made them small in those days Joan, and I didn’t yelp.

“You definelty yelped. I heard you along with the entire

Congregation. The Minister almost forgot his sermon! He

was so concerned.”

“Joan.”

“Yup”

“You’re being unfair.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Then, I guess I’m sorry.”

“You guess?”

“Well, no.”

“Go on.”

“Well, I’m sorry Nancy. There, you have it.”

“So, we’ll go back after lunch.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, so I can continue my investigation”

“I didn’t know this was Dr. No, and tiny telephone

booths really aren’t your style Nan.”

“Ha Ha Ha.”

“Well, if we must, we must. You’re the intrepid

adventurer and I your devoted follower.”

“Awe Joan. That’s so nice of you to say.”

“I may regret it.”

“You get funnier everyday Joan.”

“I’m thrilled at your side armed compliment.

Promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“We’ll have a quiet lunch and you’ll behave.”

“Joan?”

“You called.”

“See? You’re so funny when you’re disgruntled.”

“Are you ready? Nan.”

“Onwards to dejeuner!”

“So be it.”

©J.E.Goldie 5/1/2019

 

theEnd

-AGAIN-

“Perhaps” in response to BrewNSpew word prompt Apr. 29, 2019

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BrewNSpew Word Prompt April 29. 2019 “Sunrise/Sunset”

Word Prompt : Sunrise and Sunset in 300 words or less

∼PERHAPS∼

She thought she’d wander around the tiny Cruiser for a bit.

There didn’t seem to be anyone she knew this trip. It was a

beautiful evening with a stunning sunset. She was glad she’d

boarded the twilight cruise.

As she turned a corner, she accidently pushed open a slatted

Louver door. She turned back quickly uttering an apology 

not wanting to deliberately disturb anyone.

“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!” She cried, completely

 devastated, as she stepped away and burst into tears.

She thought it was hysterical, forgetting for the moment

that he’d accused her of setting him up. She loved him so deeply

that for a few precious moments of joy, feelings of intense

love ran like a raging fire through her veins.

He stood there, pants unzipped and at his knees, in the

confined Cruiser toilet, looking like a deer in the headlights.

She laughed, and half expected him to reach out and

embrace her, to gently hold her and laugh together at the

ridiculousness of the situation. 

But he just stood there in fear.

She turned her back on him and fell into a heap on the floor.

Silent, quivering emotions, spilling out of her onto her tear

drenched cheeks. Instead of a warm embrace to calm her,

he just stood there knowing he’d reacted terribly in aid

of his own, selfish needs.

She lifted herself up and sat on the first thing she could find.

It was a toilet. He looked at her as she raised her tear

stained face. Their eyes met and they laughed hysterically.

For the first time in years, they knew the love they shared

was true. The sun had set. It was twilight.

“Jan? I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Oh nothing. Perhaps we could see the sunrise together.”

“Perhaps.”

©J.E. Goldie 4/29/2019

 

theEnd

“But Not Before Breakfast” Part 1 of 2 in response to Crimsonprose #CCC24 “Knock Knock” April 27, 2019

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Crimsonprose CCC24 Prompt “Knock Knock” April 26, 2019

“Nan? You up yet?

“I am now. You whined?”

“Nan, I was thinking.”

“Uh oh.”

“Very funny Nancy. You’re always grumpy

before breakfast!”

“I am not!”

“Oh?  Oh, yes you are!”

“Let your thoughts out. I wouldn’t want you

to burst before breakfast.”

“Oh, haha.”

“Well?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“And?”

“And, I’d like to go to Church.”

“You what?”

“There’s this really old looking Church down

the road and I’d like to go inside.

You should see the door!”

“Oh, ok. That’s it?”

“No! That’s not IT, I haven’t been to Church

in awhile.”

“Joan. If you want to go, I’ll go with.

Wouldn’t hurt either of us. I could use a

good pray.”

“Nan?”

“I knew there’d be a punch line.”

“I heard something about that Church,

that disturbed me.”

“I’d say keep it to yourself but under the

circumstances, spill.”

“It’s just a rumour, Nan.”

“Since when did “Just a rumour” get in your way.”

“Well I heard ….”

“Joan. Stop right there.”

“But I thought you wanted to know.”

“I do. I honestly, positively do!

But not before breakfast.”

 

©J.E.Goldie 4/27/2019

theEnd

“This Guy Knows…”

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“O.K.! You old beat reporter, let’s go.”

“Not going,”

“What?”

“I told you at lunch!”

“I thought you were kiddin me.”

“Nope.”

“Alex! Would you just get to the point,

please and thank you.”

“I tried”.

“Well you didn’t try hard enough.”

“The man doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well why the hell not? He’s changing

the way people think.”

“Yes. Yes, he is.”

“Alex, it’s a good thing. No?”

“Definitely.”

“He should be giving interviews left,

right and center!”

“No. I agree with him.”

“Damn you Alex! If I believed so strongly

about these things, I’d spread it like wildfire!”

“That’s the point Jim.”

“Huh?”

“You’re right. Wildfires spread so fast that

no one stops to think why.”

“Alex you need a shrink.”

“Jim?”

“Yup.”

“Ever heard of the calm before the storm?”

“Natch!”

“Fires get out of control. Right?”

“Hell yah!”

“Animals run when the sense danger.

They don’t run towards it do they?

“Um, no.”

“So, getting everybody riled and upset about

things won’t help. His has a good message.”

“That’s what I’m sayin! He should tell everyone.”

“Yes Jim. I understand where you’re coming from,

and he is telling everyone.”

“Who is this guy. Really?”

“You tell me.”

“You’re scaring me Alex.”

“Jim. Exactly, and this guy knows.”

©J.E.Goldie 4/24/2019

theEnd

 

“Oh…I…” – A story

 

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“Hey Joe! How’s things! I got a new car!

Man, you should see it! It’s the best car

I’ve ever had! All the features! Next week

we’re driving up to the Casino in Niagara!

Man! It’s gonna be a blast! My Uncle Ted’s

gonna come along with us. Haven’t seen him

in years! Did I tell you I won 10 grand on

the Lottery? You should have been there

Man! I swear I must a woke all the neighbours!

It was so funny!”

“That’s great…….”

“Then! To beat everything else I got engaged

to Pam. She was as surprised as I was.

I guess you never really know where life’s

gonna take yah.  We’re planning the wedding

for next June.”

“Nice.”

“We think we’ll have the reception on a yacht,

that’ll impress em! Then, cruise the lake.

Ever cruised the lake before Joe?”

“No.”

“We figure about 100 people, maybe more,

once Pam gets finished!” Anyways, where yah

been? Haven’t talked to yah in maybe a week,

maybe more.”

“Here, right here. I left a few messages. Figured

you were too busy to notice.  Saw you talking to

Bob and the others…. Look, I’m gonna be very

busy in the next two weeks, maybe even longer.

I have important things to do. Nice talking to

yah. Glad things are going well for you.”

“Oh…I…”

©Jen Goldie 4/20/2019

theEnd