“Talk About A Joke” Fandango’s Flash Fiction #21 July 8 2019

https://fivedotoh.com/2019/07/08/fandangos-flash-fiction-challenge-21


 

TALK ABOUT A JOKE

“This way people! This way!”

“Oh! Look Martha!”

“Please stay behind the stanchions!”

“Pardon me?”

“The Stanchions! Stay behind them!

Don’t touch anything.”

“Martha. What’s the poor guy on about?”

“June, I think he wants us to stay behind

these red ropes.”

“OH! Well why didn’t he say so in the first

place. HEY! Why didn’t yah say so in the first

place!”

“I did.”

“He did.”

“He did, did he? Martha, what’s a stanchion?”

“June?”

“uh huh?”

“Just stay on this side of the ropes.”

“Okie Dokie. But if this guy doesn’t behave himself

and speak clearly, I’m going to skull him with my

Grandpa’s skull.”

“You’re Grandpa?”

“Yah. He left that junk to me in his Will. I’m here to

pick it up. Don’t say anything, but it’s all plastic

anyways. Talk about a joke.”

©J.E.Goldie July 8 2019


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“Have You Got The Time?” Fandango’s Flash Fiction #20 July 1 2019

fandangoweek#20

Geralt at Pixabay.com

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Prompt #20 July 1 2019

 Write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words.


HAVE YOU GOT THE TIME?

 

“Maintenant. What would you call this one?”

“You really want to know?”

“Ah! My friend! Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not sure, but I could hazard a guess.”

“I love it when you come to the gallery.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, because you have such a way with words!”

“I do. Do I?

“See! There you go! In just four words, you’ve

amazed me. Incroyable!

“Oh. My pleasure to oblige.”

“May I get you a Beveridge?”

 “I haven’t the time.”

“That’s it! You are THE most amazing Art Critic!

You have perfectly described AND named this

Piece in a matter of minutes!”

“I have? What is it?”

“And such simplicity. C’est merveilleux!”

“Are you sure?”

 “Bien sûr! Fait accompli!”

 “I think I better go.

Have you got the time?”

©J.E.Goldie July 2 2019


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“Do As I say!” For Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #19 June 24, 2019

Fandango's Flash Fiction #19

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #19 June 24 2019

Fandango challenges bloggers to write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words. If this picture inspires you and you wish to participate, please write your post, use the tag #FFFC  and post it in the comment section of the above link.


  DO AS I SAY!

“Hello?”

“Did you get it?”

“Yes.”

“Are you alone?”

“No, I’m standing in the middle of

a marching band!”

“Don’t get snarky.”

“Now, why would I get snarky? I

haven’t slept in days! I’d like to

go home and get outta these clothes,

and maybe have a shower!”

“Do I sound like I care?”

“Look Mister! Do you want the goods

or not? I could just walk away with this

and you’d never find me.”

“Drop the case, walk away and don’t

look back. I’m under the grate you’re

standing on. Do as I say! or I’ll shoot.”

©J.E.Goldie June 24 2019


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“Do you know who these people are?” for Fandango’s Flash Fiction #18 June 17 2019

Fandango#18photo

Fandango’s Flash Fiction June 17, 2019

“Write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words.” Fandango


DO YOU KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE!

 

“By the way, about that last piece you wrote.”

“Oh. Yah, I…”

“I know! It’s probably fine. Although I haven’t had

a chance to read it yet.”

“You usually…”

“I know! I know! I’m always on the ball! My

train’s always on time!”

“But you always…”

 “Always put my best foot forward! You know

what they say!”

“Oh and you…”

“Always have a great deal to say and everyone

knows it!”

“But you..”

“No buts about it! Everyone loves my work!”

“I know I…”

“You know you have to stick to the rules! That’s

why I am, who I am today!”

“But you always….”

“Always put my best foot forward! Yes siree!”

“I always..”

“You can’t always just put things where you

want to, you know.”

“But it’s, always..”

“Always ready! I know! I like that in a man!

I know exactly what you mean!”

“No, you don’t! It’s on your desk!”

§

“Excuse us for a moment Ladies and gentlemen.

We’ll be right back. Waiter! another round of your

best champagne for these lovely people.”

§

“George, do you know who these people are!”

©J.E.Goldie June 17, 2019

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“The Pizza Joint” for the Fandango Flash Fiction Challenge #14 #FFFC

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Image courtesy of Aron Jäger@unsplash.com.

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #14 May 20, 2019

 

The Pizza Joint

“So, Dick what’s your take?” said the Inspector, 

stroking his scruffy beard.

“Well” he pondered “The door’s been smashed

open with a lot of power behind it. Glass everywhere,

a real mess.”

“And a lot of violence behind it.” added the Inspector

as he lit up a smoke.

“That’s for damn sure Boss.”

“Did you find any blood splatter?”

“Nope.”

“You sure?” questioned the Inspector.

“Yah” the Sargent said chewing his wad of gum.

“Dick?”

“Yes Sir?”

“Got an extra gum?”

“Sure!”

“Good. And by the way, next time get that hot

Cinnamon flavor gum. I like it better.”

The Inspector demanded while unwrapping his gum.

“Sure.” Dick said, quickly making a note.

“I think we have a case of murder, a violent gruesome

bloody murder, or.” He concluded. “A kidnapping.”

“Could be both” added the Sargent.

“True enough.”

“Ok. I think we’re done here. Get the squad in to

see if there’s anymore clues. I’m hungry.”

“There’s a great little pizza joint down the street.”

offered the Sargent.

“Pizza! It is!  Dick? Did I ever tell you the one about

the mass murderer and the pizza joint?”

©J.E.Goldie May 21, 2019

 

the end almost

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“The Party” Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #8 #FFFC April 8, 2019

Reception

“I think we’re early”

“What makes you think that you moron!”

“Well look! No one’s here. You sure this is the right place?”

“Have I ever, ever steered you wrong? C’mon spill! Have I?”

“Well there was that time 5 years ago when you……”

“Stop it right there buddy. Are we gonna delve into our murky pasts now? Get real! Look, it says right here. Shit! I lost the invite!”

“Oh I see and not once have you ever, and I repeat ever, steered me wrong.”

“You wanna step outside!. Let’s go yah wimp! “

“Excuse me Sirs. Which side of the bereaved family are you on?”

 

©J.E.Goldie 4/8/2019

Word Count: 118 including title

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #8 April 8, 2019 #FFFC

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